Ricky pounded another nail into the two-by-four of the kitchen island he was building. I could swear it was my very head. Every strike was a painful attack on my aching senses.
“Ugh! I can’t stand it.” I wrapped my hand over my head like protective helmet.
“What?” Ricky asked, without turning around.
“My head is killing me.”
“Hey, did you hear about the high school coach?”
Did I hear? Right now I didn’t care about anything but the success of the migraine medicine numbing my brain in the next 30 seconds.
“So, he dumps 20 gallons of diesel fuel onto the infield of the baseball field to dry it out.”
“Really.” My ears felt like they were bleeding.
“Supposedly, it is a known practice, but he didn’t let anyone know. They had a game the other night and a parent reported smelling petroleum.” Ricky’s voice grew louder. “Now the field is a toxic hazard site and has to be cleaned up.”
“That sucks.” I was not normally a selfish person, but at this moment I didn’t give a squat about baseball fields.
“Yeah! What an idiot!” Ricky shouted above the noise of his hammer. “And what does he get? Administrative leave!”
“Ok. Can you tone it down, please. I’m about to have an aneurism.”
“Paid time off for causing a toxic chemical spill, basically.” Ricky stopped hammering and turned around to look at me. “What?”
“I said my head is about to explode!”
“I heard you.” Ricky’s expression was one of a man who just realized his mistake.
“Could I possibly get some sympathy or at least an aknowledgement that I’m not feeling well?”
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t know you wanted me to say something about your headache.” Ricky crooned at me with puppy dog eyes, now that he understood what was expected,
I shrugged, unable to shake my head in disgust. “I don’t want sympathy now, when you feel obligated. But if it were you, I’d be handing you a cool washcloth, helping you to the couch and offering a temple massage.”
“There’s aspirin in the cabinet.” Ricky Nightingale raised his hammer hand, pointing helpfully.
God, he was thick today.
“Did you hear about the woman who bludgeoned her husband with a hammer?”