When he said those words, I wanted to run out of the room and hide in a dark corner of my closet. Maybe, until tomorrow, and everything could go back to the way it had been yesterday. I seriously considered doing it, for a moment. I was scared.
It was a stupid idea, I know, to think things could ever be the same after someone shared a secret in their heart.
Instead, I sat there like a player in a game of ‘Red Light, Green Light’, staring at the T.V., not daring to move. Afraid to breathe. How could he put me on the spot like this? I didn’t want things to change.
We were perfect together. We were having fun. At least, when he wasn’t driving me crazy. I mean, seriously, the yogurt cup is only so deep, dude. When you get the bottom, it’s over.
What is love, anyway?
All types of love exist.
I love my parents. I’ve never questioned that they love me back. But I don’t remember those words ever being spoken.
I love my girlfriends, all two of them. And they love falling in love – it happens all the time for them. I don’t understand how that works.
I love my dog, Crank. She wears her heart on her swiveling tail of disaster, for which she was named. We have extensive conversations, where I do most of the talking. She often pipes in her agreement that I am the greatest hotdog maker in the world. “Rauw! Rauw!”
Now, here’s Mark, of the dark, messy hair and soft brown eyes. We don’t have anything in common. He works in a pawn shop and is a gamer extraordinaire, at night. I work in a book store by day, and have my face in a book, most the time.
We ride on his motorcycle on sunny days. We go to movies, concerts, festivals, bowling alleys, bars and amusement parks. We never, ever, go to restaurants. We like cooking at home.
Oh, did I say he’s a sexy man? Yeah, he’s got that on point.
So, what’s the deal? Has my mind been warped by too many romance novels? Had Disney spoiled me for the real world?
My mind is clearing. Without knowing if the light was red or green, I turn to him and realize something. There isn’t anything to be afraid of. My heart knew it all the time, but my brain had to catch up. I grab his hand in mine.
“Yes, I’ll watch Deadpool with you, again.”
Well – it’s almost as good as those words – for now.