Late Bloomer: Part 2

In the journey of self discovery, self realization and self esteem people take many paths. We have different starting points, levels of development, goals and baggage to carry or throw away. The trip involves more than taking a pleasant stroll through the beautiful meadow of our mind. It is an epic tale, full of monsters and mountains. We must battle our fears, insecurities, and sometimes other people in our lives. We fall down in the mistakes we make along the way.

Things get messy.

They also get really cool! Beautiful. Enlightening. The things you find all along the way are eye opening and empowering.

For me, the journey into self discovery has been a life long quest, an evolution. A transformational merging of mind and soul. Once started, I knew I could not keep floating through life like a fluff of cotton. I had to learn to become conscious. Not only as in living in the moment consciousness, but also being aware of my thoughts, behaviors, beliefs and feelings of everything that affected me. Before I could become conscious in these ways, I first had to realize that I wasn’t. Dear chicken, meet the egg!

Learning to free my mind from all the labels assigned to me since childhood has been a worthy and worthwhile challenge. Some were crutches, some were weights, others just made me feel like a misfit instead of unique. I had to sort the facts from the false. Decide what to keep or trash. Not all truths were good, and not all falses bad.  And hey, my art was not amazing masterpiece level work, but still a heck of a lot of fun just the same. Keep pile!

It’s been twenty-five years since I opened my eyes and mind, breaking out of the flower box that was stunting my growth.

Wow! You’re old,” you might say. “Sure took you a long time to figure it all out.”

I must finally be transformed to the perfect version of myself, right? Heck no. But I am open, blooming. I am soaking up raindrops of knowledge and experiences everyday. Basking in the warmth of being the keeper of my happiness and successes (or failures) in life. Filled with excitement as the winds of change push me in a new direction now and then.

I’m still blooming. It’s a wonderful thing.

Joan

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