Have you ever thought about the emotional debt, or baggage, we carry around with us? No matter the size or weight, we struggle with it. We are held hostage by it. It rules just about every aspect of our lives. Most likely, not a moment passes when we are not affected by this debt in some way.
What I am talking about are those negative bits and pieces of memories, experiences, or even imagined fears, that have not dissipated over the course of time. They continue to rise to the surface of our minds and affect the way we feel and react to things in the present.
Most of us wake up in the morning and begin our day like everyone else, but at some point in the progression of our routine, one of those bits of memory is triggered by an action we perform, something that happens or a thought that we have. A downward dip in our day begins. And throughout the day, our minds (subconsciously) pick up on more and more of the crap that relates to the emotional debt we are carrying.
As my favorite doctor, Leonard McCoy from Star Trek, would say, “I am not a psychiatrist, Jim!” And neither am I! Just a student of life.
But I believe the reason for this phenomenon is that we, as humans, tend to store up memories of bad experiences more readily than good ones. Possibly for reasons of self preservation. It’s instinct. We experience bad things or imagine the possibilities of bad things happening and store that crap up for survival. Not gonna get hurt by that again! because it will be recognized sooner, next time.
According to scientific studies, it’s a fact, that our brains cannot differentiate between an old memory, something imagined and something that is happening right now. Of course, logically we know whether or not we are experiencing something or just thinking it, but the brain produces the same physiological reactions to the stress, regardless.
Seems like a reasonable thing to store up hurtful memories and the emotions tied to them in self defense. Nobody wants to become hurt again over the same type of crap. Danger Will Robinson! Reality is that we are priming ourselves for the hurt. We are prepared to be triggered and suffer through an (unsupernatural) precognition of becoming hurt. Perceiving negative impressions of situations and interactions often before they have even occurred.
The interesting and disasterous result of this is that we are bogged down by our grab bag of bad experiences waiting for that one drop of water (so to speak) that will bring them swelling to the forefront. We normalize our negative expectations, with our motto being ” Yep, saw that coming a mile away”.
Do we really see it coming? Or are we helping more negativity to manifest through the enormous power of our minds?
But what about people? you might ask. If Joe is a jerk, then that is reality, a true expectation, right? Every time you meet Joe, you know it’s going to be bad. 👎You are not able to influence Joe, are you? Sounds simple, but it’s actually a whopper of a situation.
Possible Facts in the case of Joe:
1. We do not know everything there is to know about Joe. Never will.
2. Joe has got his own bag of emotional debt to deal with.
3. Your emotional debt gun is loaded and ready to spring when Joe’s around. “Oh boy, there’s Joe. It’s gonna be bad.”
4. Joe might think you’re the jerk and his emotional debt triggers when he sees you.
5. Small changes through positive action and behavior can begin to improve a situation.
We say we don’t want to live in negativity. We want to dump our emotional debt into the sea of useless crap and live happy and adventurous lives, no longer held back by the past. Truth is, it is hard to make a shift and restructure our minds to accept our right to this life.
Because we are also geared to seek the comfortable and easy roads. We may try to achieve freedom from the negative thoughts or memories and related emotions that dictate to us everyday, but we are also creatures of habit. We will definitely try to think positive! to make a change for the better. But the truth is it just won’t stick with a positive affirmation chanted into the mirror.
I know!! They told me the same thing.
We have to be daring and earnest in our determination to drop the bags and move on to enjoy better things in life wholeheartedly. It will take hard work to move from the comfort zone of negativity to reach and maintain a free and happy mind.
Why is it so hard? Because a free and happy mind is the unknown. The negativity, the emotional debt, is the normal zone and whether we like it or not it feels safe because it is familiar.
Perhaps we should charge ourselves for the extra baggage, like the airlines do!!😸
More to come on this topic in the future.